Can’t decide? Three philosophers will.
Come on in. The philosophers are already at it.
sips coffee By day it's coffee and opinions nobody asked for. Lay your cards on the table and our three regulars will vote on it.
This café runs on coffee and opinions. Therapy is for the professionals; opinions, we've got plenty. (Ours are AI estimates drawn from what these philosophers wrote.)
These verdicts are generated by AI from what the philosophers wrote.
So, if I've got this right, you're asking:
copies it onto a fresh note I've boiled it down to a yes-or-no question. Check it above and hand it back over.
taps the note Sounds like an either-or. Want the table to pick one instead?
rereads the note Or did you mean one of these?
House rule: the table answers yes-or-no questions. Try “Should I text my ex?”
I'll read it out word for word.
Please reach out for support
We don't give verdicts on this. Free, confidential help is available 24/7.
Judged a few drinks in
AI-generated estimate based on the philosophers' writings.
This result stays only in this browser tab until you close it. On a shared computer, start a new dilemma or close the tab.
leans over the counter So, does the table's verdict sit right with you?
jots it on the tab Noted. I'll pass it on to the regulars.
polishing a glass What should the house add next?
pins it to the board Noted. Thanks!
slides a pen across the counter Got more to say? Drop the house an email. simplefunction4app@gmail.com
Want them to explain themselves?
Each philosopher explains their vote in their own voice, quoting their own writing as they go.
taps the tab Free while we're in beta. Five a day.
Questions people ask
What is Kant Decide?
You describe a decision you're stuck on, and Schopenhauer, Nietzsche and Kant each vote YES or NO (or pick one of your options). Their reasons are AI estimates grounded in what each philosopher actually wrote.
Is it free?
Yes, during the beta. Verdicts are free, and the philosophers will explain their votes in their own words up to 5 times a day.
Do you keep what I write?
No. Your dilemma is sent to our AI providers in the US (TypeSafe and Anthropic) to make the verdict. On our side it stays in server memory for at most an hour and is never written to storage or logs. The privacy policy has the details.
Is this counseling or professional advice?
No. These are AI estimates for reflection and fun. They don't replace counseling or medical, legal or financial advice. If you're going through a hard time, findahelpline.com lists free helplines near you.
Which languages does it work in?
English, Korean, Japanese and Chinese (Simplified and Traditional).